New iPhone Capable of Recording Black Friday Fights In 3D

Cupertino CA– Apple announced today that they are releasing a 3D iPhone update that has been especially designed for Black Friday.

The main upgrade will be applied to the camera, which will record all Black Friday fights in widescreen mode for later playback on FaceBook and Twitter, just in case the iPhone owner forgets to tilt their camera.

In addition, there will be a “Black Friday Fight Mode” switch on the casing for rapid enabling of the technology, in the event of a fight breaking out without any prior trash talk.

Apple have spent four years perfecting an extreme shake stabiliser for when the camera holder is punched or elbowed in the face while running for a half-price pair of Reeboks.  Also, every video will be overlaid with a “Hunger Games” filter.

Additionally, there will be a very tiny windscreen wiper on the camera lens, in order to remove any excess blood.

According to Apple CEO, Tim Cook, “You can show family and friends exactly how you got your fractured eye socket, using Apple’s patented 3D video technology – it will be like they are in the fight with you.  This technology is insanely great”.

 

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