Neisseria gonnorrhoea “very excited” about end of college year

In an exclusive interview with The Allium yesterday, Neisseria gonnorrhoea revealed that he was really looking forward to the end of the academic year.

“Busy time of the year for me”, said N. gonnorrhoea, “even busier than spring break.  The old phrase – what happens in Cancun stays in Cancun – doesn’t apply to me”.

Mr. Gonnorrhoea told The Allium that most of the excitement centres on the end of year parties.

“I love the end of college year parties, where I go to the party with somebody and go home with somebody else”.

“They say that nothing is as infectious as a child’s laughter.  Obviously, they don’t know some of the guys at my college”.

“Also, I’ve gotten a few extra genes recently, so I’m almost untreatable now and that is proving to be quite a lot of fun”.

When we asked Mr. Gonnorrhoea whether he felt guilty about giving people infections he gave us an insight into his philosophy of life.

“If God didn’t want people to have STDs, then why did he make it so much fun to get them?  I’m doing God’s work here”, said Mr. Gonnorrhoea.

You might think that with the summer break that gonnorrhoea is going to get a rest, but instead he told us that he had lot of plans for the summer.

“Its conference season, isn’t it?  The only thing hornier than a bunch of Arizona undergrads are professors with mid-life crises”.

“Bring it on!!”

 

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