In an exclusive interview with The Allium, the measles virus admitted that it was “pretty stunned” by its recovery and recent successes in causing pain and misery.
“Man, I thought my time was over, I thought I was done, I reckoned they had me with their safe and effective vaccines, but boy was I wrong”, said the measles virus, known to his friends as “Old Single Strand”, after his genome.
“Yup, there was a time back in the 50s and 60s when I was infecting 2, maybe 3 million Americans a year and killing maybe 300 of them. Then the vaccine came in and pretty much wiped me out. But I’m back and looking better than ever”.
“Heck, look at the chart that was plotted by the Washington Post, I’m looking pretty darn good, you can click on it to see for yourself”.
“I can never thank Jenny McCarthy enough, she saved my life”, sobbed the contagious microbe.
“Without her and her kind, I would have been gone. Kaput. Consigned to history.”
“I don’t know how these anti-vaxxers have done it, but they have thrown me a lifeline, when everybody wanted me gone. I love how they have gotten people to believe the nonsense they spout, but somehow they have done it.”
“I get to be called an Epidemic again, yahoooo.”