Athens, GA – Third-year grad student Rusty Doarr was yesterday sentenced to death by firing squad for writing his entire conference poster in Comic Sans font.
The news has been met with widespread approval among the scientific community, with many people offering the opinion that “shooting was too good for him”.
“This is the problem with our judicial system” said a professor from New York who wished to remain anonymous “it is too lenient. In my day, they would have hung, drawn and quartered the sonofabitch”.
“Anybody could have walked past that poster. Some people have brought their kids to this conference. What if one of them had seen it? Won’t anybody think of the kids?”
Not everybody was in full agreement with the outcome. One post-doctoral researcher from California told The Allium that he blamed the advisors.
“The advisors come to these conferences too and let their grad students run wild all over the place. It’s the advisors who should be shot”, said the post-doc.
Mr Doarr will be executed by firing squad tomorrow morning at sunrise. His family are appealing to the US President for leniency, but according to some reports, the President said “No F*&^$ng way. That dude used Comic Sans, he’s getting no mercy here”.