Biomedical Sciences Graduate Lands Dream Job Washing Lab Glassware

New Haven, CT- Recent biomedical sciences major, Crystal Claire Waters reported recently that she has finally found her dream job, washing lab glassware at a pharmaceutical company.

Ms Waters told The Allium “I just cannot believe I have been able to land the job of my dreams”.

“Since I was a small child, I dreamed of rinsing out graduated cylinders, scrubbing conical flasks and polishing the knob at the end of a stopcock.”

“I was awarded first class honors every year since freshman year, I have interned in hospitals and run up more than $100,000 in debt, so that I could have this amazing, amazing  job”

“I told my mom and she cried for two days.  Can you believe that? – huge tears!!”

“People told me that I wouldn’t get a great job, but I knew they were full of BS.  I mean, my degree has “medical” in its title.  If I was to believe them, I would have to believe that my university were cynically putting”medical” into the title, just to entice people that weren’t able to get into med school.”

“And there is just no way that a university would ever be cynical about anything”

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