Yanis Varoufakis Appointed Director Of NIH

In an effort to counter austerity measures implemented there since 2009, former Greek Minister for Finance, Yanis Varoufakis has been appointed as head of the National Institutes of Health.

“For several years, the research community of the United States have put up with these austerity measures”, said Dr Varoufakis, “but from now on, we say OXI”.

“For too long, our people have suffered”, said the great Greek professor, “their careers slowly dying, while austerity measures have been heaped on us”.

Mr Varoufakis is notable in the history of the world for being the only person ever to have succeeded in making economics seem cool.

“My strategy”, said Mr Varoufakis, “is that I am going to implement a new program of spending on our people, and when the money runs out, we will just pretend the money hasn’t run out”.

“There will be grants for everybody, our people will be able to nurture their graduate students without fear of running out of plastic pipette tips or centrifuge tubes”, said Mr Vanoufakis.

“Our post-docs will no longer have to stay in a Great Western Hotel, sleeping three to a room”.

“We will no longer have to publish in PLoS One because we don’t have the money to finish off the experiment”.

“What could possibly go wrong?”

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