Washington DC – President-Elect Mr. Donald Trump has tweeted that he will require all reviewers for all journals and grant agencies to end all reviews with the word “Sad!”
Trump tweeted that all reviewers should be required to select the wording for their reviews from an approved list of words.
The approved list of words includes “Stupid”, “Dumb”, “Weak”, “Loser”, “Politically Correct”, “Moron”, “Tough”, “Dangerous”, “Bad”, “Lightweight”, “Amazing”, “Huge”, “Tremendous”, “Terrific” and “Out of Control”.
On occasion, reviewers will be allowed to say “Snowflake” and “Classy”.
Reviewers will be prevented from saying why anything is stupid or dumb or what might be done to correct the problem. They will be obliged to only issue vague solutions and these solutions must be four words long at most and readable by a typical eight-year-old.
Acceptable suggestions are to “Make Astrophysics Great Again (MAGA)”, or if the reviewer wants to say something quite definite and precise they can say that they were told by “an extremely credible source”.
President-elect Trump says that this is just the start.