Nigel Farage, the British politician who masterminded the exit of the United Kingdom from the European Union appeared last night at a rally in Jackson, Mississippi telling the crowd “America needs to take back control of logic and reason and doesn’t need scientists to tell you how to do it”.
“In Britain, we built a wall of sorts around our great country – a wall made from the sea”, said Mr. Farage.
“Now, we are seeing that foreign scientists are no longer confident that they can come to our great nation and blithely use their science and logic. Blithely is another word for joyous, merry or happy in disposition. Disposition is a person’s inherent qualities of mind and character. Oh never mind.”
“I know nothing about America”, said Mr. Farage, to a roar of approval from an audience who were not sure why he spoke so strangely, “But what matters”, said Mr. Farage, “is that I use reassuring tones and tell you simple trite concepts using small words”, to which the crowd erupted in chants of “U.S.A., U.S.A”.
“The liberal agenda is to use logic, reason and science in order to make decisions, but in Britain we have shown that there is something much more effective than any facts”.
“In the UK, we used confusion and name calling. This is much better than logic”.
“We didn’t need any facts to win in the UK, and you don’t need facts to influence your vote here”, said Mr. Farage.
Speaking after the rally, attendee Cherry Earlene Savannah Wade told The Allium of her admiration for Mr. Farage
“That Canadian guy sure made sense. I couldn’t be happier right now if I was a tornado in a trailer park, or a tick on a fat dog”.