BREAKING: We have just received a report that the Sanger Institute has been completely overrun by a plague of next-generation sequencer salespeople.
Reports from the scene, say it is in complete chaos.
Many of the scientists have gone into hiding, fourteen are missing and it is feared that they may be held against their will and forced to listen to endless powerpoint presentations.
There are unconfirmed reports of one Team Leader being ruthlessly hunted down by a salesperson over a period of four hours. Onlookers said it seemed that the salesperson was “playing with him, like he was a children’s toy”.
The Police have been called and there is talk that they are going to use tear gas to disperse the salespeople, though it is not known whether this would even have a dampening effect – such is their blood lust.
Messages of support are being sent from Palestine, Syria and Newcastle.
More news as it happens.