Vatican City – Pope Francis has announced today that there will be a crucial addition to all future bibles and all Catholic teachings concerning what used to be known as the “Seven Deadly Sins”.
“In future, there will be an addition to the number of sins that are deadly”, said the Pope, “From now on, there will be an eighth deadly sin and its name is….PERL programming”.
“It will rank above sloth and avarice, in terms of deadliness. It will still be approximately equal to Pride, but below Envy and Lust”, said the Pontiff.
“Redemption is indeed possible, though the punishment for those who will not recant their sin of PERL programming will be instant death”.
“A suitable penance, for those who are truly sorry will be sitting through four microbiome lectures and a two-hour session with the university finance committee”.
“Go in peace”.