Math

BIG DATA: Bayesian Model PREDICTED Trump Victory A Full Seven Minutes Before He Won

Washington DC – In what is seen as a huge victory for “Big Data”, a sophisticated bayesian model predicted the outcome of the American presidential election a whole seven minutes before the result was confirmed. Spokesperson for the research unit that carried out the analysis – Nate Platinum – said “This is a huge step forward for big data analytics. …

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Male Mathematicians Agree That Fields Medal Gender Balance Is Now OK

In a poll of male mathematicians, it was agreed that the gender balance in Mathematics, Science and Engineering is now perfectly fine. In a statement by the representative of all mathematicians everywhere, he said “That’s it folks, no need to do any more of this balance thing, it has gone far enough”. “Now that a woman has won the fields …

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Should Math Be Taught In School?

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Math News: Hitler Learns Topology

Hitler learns Topology

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Inter-faith marriage: Bayesian and Frequentist tie the knot

New York – Noted Yale Bayesian Dr. Cal Culus and Harvard frequentist Dr. Poly Nomial got married Friday at what some friends said was probably, or indeed quite likely, an intimate ceremony. “You could always count on this couple to organize a great party”, said Dee Rivative, a friend of the couple “it would be irrational to think otherwise”. “I …

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Wanted: Statistician to make results significant

  We are a research laboratory involved in large-scale experimentation. We have a six-month position available for a creative statistician whose¬†task will be to make all our experimental results significant at P<0.05. A further six month contract may be offered if you can make the results even more significant. We need support for our foregone conclusions. Send your CV, along …

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Rumor: Next version of Python programming language to be called “Burmese Python”

The Allium can exclusively reveal that the next version of the Python programming language will not be called Python 4.0, instead the programming language is going to get a makeover and its name is to be changed to

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