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American Scientist Surprisingly Quiet at Conference

Paris, France – Yesterday at a conference in Paris, France, an American Scientist was surprisingly quiet. At breakfast, he spoke quietly, asked for a croissant in an accent that showed that

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T.A. celebrates milestone in sleazing on undergraduates

New York – Physics Teaching Assistant, Mick Hunt (54) celebrated at home last Thursday with a bottle of K-Mart sparkling cider upon reaching a career milestone when he sleazed on his 200th undergraduate student.

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Academic reads novel

A professor at the Talahassee Institute of Technology (TIT) confirmed today that he is in fact reading a novel. The book is completely fact-free and contains what is known as

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Engineer has finally built network of everything

Saratoga – ┬áProfessor P. Nissbreath an engineer at the regional technical college of Saratoga confirmed Tuesday that he had finally made a network of everything. “I saw how everybody was making these networks of

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Grad student finally gets phylogenetic tree he agrees with

Moscow, Idaho – Grad student, Herb Bumblebee finally got the phylogenetic tree he likes and is all ready now to write the paper, he confirmed for The Allium on Friday. “It took me seventeen different computer programs, 84 substitution models and 4,000 CPU years of computing, but finally

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