London, UK – The Global Shark Conservation alliance announced today that they had developed a new strategy for the conservation of sharks worldwide.
“After the recent spate of attacks on sharks by australian surfers, we are recommending a global cull of surfers”, said spokesperson, Dr. Eaton Wright.
“These attacks on innocent hungry sharks are uncalled for and we can no longer stand by and watch this happen”
“Every year countless innocent sharks are attacked by surfers with their fleshy fists attacking the vulnerable sharks who have no more than four rows of serrated teeth in order to defend themselves”.
This call has been backed by almost every person that has ever known a surfer ever.