British Genome Survey Finds Genes For Fair Play And Disappointment

The largest ever survey of British genomes has uncovered several genetic variants – called alleles – that are significantly associated with a variety of traits.

“We found a great deal of regional variation in British genomes” said one of the scientists involved in the study.  “There was North-South variation and this was strongly associated with northern genomes being enriched in anti-freeze and false-optimism genes, while southern genomes are enriched in genes for controlling the development of particularly large sphincter muscles.”

“We also tried initially to include Welsh genomes in our analysis, but nobody could understand anything they encoded for.”

“The East Anglian genomes all had 20,000 copies of genes that are all related to one another.”

“We found that British genomes on average had more genes that predisposed the individual to talk about fair play, but these genes were in strong linkage disequilibrium with genes encoding a bit of violence on a Friday night outside the chippy”

“Future work will involve the deep sequencing of chromosomal regions that seem to be associated with thanking bus drivers, a love of greyhound racing and a region on chromosome 4 that is associated with holding the door open for the next person, even if that person is still 50 yards away.”

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